Well, where do I start! So much has happened since I last wrote!! I’m not sure I can cram it all in this one post!!
So I received a letter from the hospital a week after my operation booking me into a pre-op assessment on the 2nd of May?? Then a second letter with my operation date set for the 9th of May?? I’m not entirely sure what I’m even having done?? so I called my surgeons secretary to confirm as I thought it could have been a mistake but the secretary confirmed I am indeed having another op, she was quite vague about what I’m having done so I’ll have to get back to you all on that.
So quite a few months ago a lot of my family booked a weekend caravan trip for my dads 60th, my brother Ricky’s 30th and my cousin Lees 40th. There was over 40 of us that went!! I didnt book up to go as at the time I was bed bound and had been for some time. I never thought I would have been well enough to go and I wasn’t well enough up until a few weeks ago (well since I’ve started this blog I’ve started to improve) I’ve been so positive I feel like the old me is starting to resurface and I feel like just maybe I’m on the mend!! its amazing what the power of positive thinking can do I’m truly amazed at how far I’ve come.
My lovely family!!
The only problem I’ve got at the moment is my eyesight I’m going fucki*g blind I’m sure of it!! I go bogged eyed when I’m tired (which is all of the time) and I know that one eye is looking at yea, the other is looking for yea!! I get so embarrassed it’s like I can’t control my eyes so I’ve almost stopped looking directly at people when I’m talking to them (don’t want to make them dizzy ffs) so I’m definitely booking myself an appointment at the opticians!!
My glasses have bloody broke (well I’ve glued them now) but I was walking around with one of the sides missing I looked like a right div!! Me and Steven were having words and as I was going off on one he started laughing at me (which annoyed me) then he just said I can’t take you seriously with them glasses wonky on your face, well when I looked in the mirror I had to laugh I looked like a complete mental case haha 🤣
Anyway I’m sure your wondering about the title and for once the bad smell wasn’t due to me!! My dad and Steven are rank!! and I’m no one to discriminate but jheezes I can still smell it 😷 my dads a fellow cronnie so I can almost forgive it but Steven just takes the pi*s I’ve never smelt anything like it!!
While we’re on the subject of sh*t and farts it came to light that my sister in law has never farted in front of my brother 😳😂 and Steven proudly announced that I also haven’t farted in front of him and to Steven great shame I confirmed that as much as I would like to claim that the reason I haven’t farted in front of him is because I’m a considerate lady oh no no I announce that I don’t fart full stop ✋ I don’t run that risk EVER!! It’s like Russian roulette with my arse its either a fart or a shart so we just save all that for the bathroom 🙈 (sorry to disappoint you Steven)
What a lovely weekend. It’s been such a long time since I’ve actually made it to a family event it was lovely catching up with everyone, I’ve missed out on so much so this weekend meant so much to me it was definitely what the doctor ordered.
There was a time only going back not even 6weeks that I felt so ill I was convinced my body couldn’t take anymore and that I wouldn’t wake up and as morbid as it sounds I used to write goodbye letters to my little one when she would be in bed asleep next to me convinced I was going to die.
I’ve been tempted to pre pay for a funeral as I didn’t want my mum and dad left footing the bill my mum and dad have sacrificed so much for me already I’m a grown arse women but I’ve seriously needed my mum and dad so much over the years and they have been amazing I know I keep saying it but I really do have the worlds greatest parents.
Anyway I never would have imagined I’d feel so good in such a short space of time, going from deep depression and appalling health to actually enjoying life again don’t get me wrong I’m still not 100% but compared To messing myself and vomiting 🤮 most days I can actually say I’ve had a sick/sh*t free week no accidents for me!! And Stevens starting to reap the benefits too sorry if your reading this mum TMI (to much information) I know but there was a long period of time when I never thought I’d enjoy sex again (through fear of sh*tting myself or shi*ting on him) I went through a stage of pushing steven away I thought he deserved better he is still a young man with needs and I could no longer fulfil them or so I thought even though Steven had reassured me nothing could put him off time and time again I was still so scared of messing myself I felt so low I couldn’t understand why he would want me (I still don’t lol)
I could write so much on this subject because I think this is a common thing especially with women that have illnesses like mine but we just don’t talk about it, and as I’m sure you have figured out by now its the subject is likely to make you feel uncomfortable I’m probably going to talk about it lol
I think in my next blog I might just talk solely about being in a relationship with this condition I think a lot of females with my illness will relate and probably be relieved to find out there not alone in this.
Anyway until the next time.
My blessed and not so blessed life. Xx
Ps. Told you it was a long one lol 😆