Well, I just wanted to start by saying thank you to everyone that read and commented on my blog so far!! I’ve been totally overwhelmed by the response and kind words!! I’ll be honest I was waiting for all the nasty comments (I was prepared for all the keyboard warriors to come and rip the s**t 💩 out of me) excuse the pun!! but to my great surprise, I’ve had nothing but amazing and wonderful comments!!! THANK YOU all so much again!!
I just want to let you all know a little bit about myself, I’ve posted some intermate details about my condition and symptoms but I haven’t told you much about me or my story so here goes!!
My name is Leanne I’m 32, I’m from a very working class background. I was born in Tooting, South London 1987 I’m the eldest of 3 siblings. Growing up I lived on a council estate until I was about 11 then my mum and dad brought there the first home!! I was born into the most amazing and loving family (I’m very lucky). Out of my mum and dad kids I was always the problem child (when I say problem I just mean a little bit rebellious) I definitely caused my mum and dad to worry about me the most, I never took anything seriously ie school, life, my illness I kinda still don’t (not sure if that’s a good or bad thing haha) but now with my illness they continue to worry about me (I feel terrible about this and now I’m older and have my own child I realise what a bit*h I was at times) So mum, dad I would just like to say I don’t know how you put up with me and how you continue to do so, all I know is I don’t know what I would have done without you both and that me and Elsie (my little girl) love and appreciate you so much. I’ll update you all a bit more about me in my next post (hope I havent bored you too much)
My lovely mum, dad, daughter, nephew and me with my moon face (steroids make your face round hence the title moon face) I know you other cronies feel my pain 😳
So I recevied a call from the surgeon and they have booked me in for surgery. (there going in through my back passage so Ill be in and out the same day!!) I’m in two minds about this surgery (I’ve had it done before …it didn’t work) the surgery is called balloon dilation so they put a balloon up in my intestine to open it out, I have what they call a stritcher (medical term) my intestines are sticking together and I have narrowing of the small bowls this is causing me terrible pain when I eat. The only worry I have is that the last time I had this procedure I got relief for about a week but then my back passage collapsed again and it made my incontinence worse!!! now I can handle mostly all aspects of this illness but sh**ting myself I can’t deal with it!! 💩😭 Since then my incontinence has improved so I’m a little reluctant to have this done again only for it not to work and for it to open up the sh*t gates (literally) I’ve actually been making it to the toilet lately (well most of the time anyway!)
Well I decided I will go ahead with the surgery (Just going to buy a packet of adult f**king nappies on the way) I’ve also got an MRI booked to see the extent of my problems so hopefully we can try and fix me or work towards me having some sort of quilty of life (it is my little one I feel for I can’t do too much with her and it kills me the guilt I feel haunts me at night)
So hopefully after the surgery I might be able to eat and play again YAY!!! I’ve not been able to eat for a while now currently weight 6st 10 (on a liquid diet as my stomach can handle solid foods) I’ve never been this tiny in my life!! I feel like a pubescent little girl and trust me ladies I’ve been every size imaginable (but that’s another story just know us women were never bloody happy) Ill update you on the surgery when I have it!!
On a positive note my health has been the best its been in 2 years, I’ve felt quite good these last few days and thank god I have becasue my little one has been really unwell been getting sick in the night so the last 3 nights I’ve been up stripping her bed and cleaning up sick, I know its terrible but when my little one and partner get a little ill I almost enjoy it cause it’s the only time everyone wants to chill and lie down (means I can lay down feel ill without feeling guilty don’t judge me 😂) My little one is a trooper no nonsense or fuss from her while she’s getting sick and I think it’s because she is so used to seeing me getting sick she actually thinks its normal and that in itself is really worrying, so she’s been off school, she loved having time off shes perked up today!! she put on a massive dance and singing show just for me (I do love my cheeky money). My mum took her to the panto to see Beauty and the Beast last weekend and she said she had to practically pin my Elsie down cause she was breaking her legs to get on the stage and join in!! So I called a performing arts school today waiting for them to get back to me. I so wish I was well enough to have taken her myself to the panto but the last time I tried we spent most of the time in the toilets cause I kept being sick!! it broke my heart that she couldn’t watch the full show, so my amazing mum did the honours this time. I really do have such an amazing family.
My Blessed and not so Blessed life!!